


Hot Button

by 221b_hound



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dishwasher Sex, Kitchen Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:18:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7042225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221b_hound/pseuds/221b_hound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mishap with a dangerous fish that sees the dishwasher stabbed to death, Sherlock makes peace by replacing the dishwasher with a fabulous new Miele. John expresses his appreciation with a joyful bout of kitchen sex. But the new dishwasher is behaving oddly in ways that Sherlock finds surprisingly pleasing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Button

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AtlinMerrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/gifts).



> Dear lord, the things that get prompted while Atlin visits me. My dishwasher is slightly too big for the space it's in. I'm forever accidentally turning it on and off with my hips or stomach. One thing led to another, our brains went entirely to Porntown, Atlin said WRITE IT, so I did. I'm sorry/You're welcome.

Sherlock and John had a very harmonious home life, on the whole. Bickering didn’t count as inharmonious, because they both enjoyed that. Teasing, ribbing, feigning shock at body parts, pointing out the bleeding obvious: detectives and blogging ex-army medics don’t flirt like other people.

However, the incident of the Live Fucking Sea Lamprey With All Those Fucking Teeth in the Fucking Sink was one of the rare fights that was not at all flirty. John’s stupendous reflexes meant the writhing, nightmare thing never properly fastened onto him. The subsequent pinning of that vital bit of aquatic evidence against the door of the dishwasher with the carving knife was another element of the argument. Afterwards, Sherlock discovered he was as aroused by John’s prowess with a knife as with a gun, but at the time he was too furious that the lamprey trained to eat gold jewellery thrown in the estuary was now dead! A lamprey not only endangered but unique!

But then he saw the circular wound on John’s arm and fell on him with cries of alarm to staunch the bleeding and insist John be treated for tetanus, infection, you-name-it, we’ll-inoculate, and all was forgiven. Especially once the lamprey could be dissected and the three rings in its intestines proved evidence enough for the case.

Sherlock usually felt his transgressions were justified. John usually thought, ultimately, that they were funny. On this occasion, Sherlock felt compelled to make a peace offering by purchasing and installing the new Miele dishwasher. (He swore he’d chosen it based on stringent analysis of performance, economy and price; John was convinced he’d chosen it because of the Miele tagline, Flawless Brilliance.) The Miele was slightly larger than the old, skewered one, so although it fit snugly into its space, the front of it bulged out a few centimetres beyond the lip of the benchtop. A black glossy panel on the front provided smooth, edgeless controls and readouts for settings, wash duration and temperature and a single power button that lit up when activated. 

John was so pleased with the make-up gift that a sweet kiss turned into a sultry one; a hand on Sherlock’s hip turned into two hands on his luscious arse; a firm embrace and enthusiastic frotting near the drawers turned into Sherlock bent over the bench – an old favourite, that position – while John fucked him with loving gusto and feverish endearments.

“Fuck, Sherlock, spread for me, gorgeous, that’s it, oh look at you taking me, beautiful, god yes, can you feel me, can you feel me right against you there? God you feel good, so good. Is this good, baby?”

And Sherlock was panting and thrusting his arse back on John’s cock.

“Yes, John. John. Fuck me. Fuck. Fuck. God. Perfect. John. John. John. Shove it in. Sh- _uuuuuuh_ , yes yes John John John…”

John obligingly reached around to fondle Sherlock’s balls, subtly changing the angle of Sherlock’s upthrust cock.

And very unexpectedly, Sherlock grunted with a shock of pleasure, and the dishwasher began to hum.

John, cheek mashed against Sherlock’s back as his hips curled and the hand cupping Sherlock’s balls gently tugged on their delicate handful, took a moment to notice.

“Wh…?” he began, but then Sherlock gasped and the mechanical hum abruptly ceased. With better things to concentrate on, John licked a stripe along Sherlock’s spine, kissed it, pulled a little on Sherlock’s deliciously thick and pre-come-drizzled cock, took Sherlock by the hips again and resumed a more energetic thrusting.

“God, yes, you gorgeous fucking thing, fuck, yes, do that…”

Sherlock was thrusting wantonly against him, his ripe round buttocks bouncing spectacularly with every bang of John’s pelvis against them. John loved looking at them wobble while his cock rocked in and out of Sherlock’s pliant body.

“Jooooooohn,” Sherlock groaned.

The dishwasher hum began again, with a gush of water.

John thrust again, a guttural **_aaaaaaaahhhhh_** swelled out of Sherlock and the sound abruptly stopped again.

“What the fuck?” muttered John, still pumping, but puzzled.

“Power,” gasped Sherlock.

John, mistaking this for a command, fucked Sherlock faster and harder, and reached around again to stroke Sherlock’s cock and fondle his balls.

Sherlock’s hips jerked forward and the dishwasher started up again.

“The _fuck_?”

“ _Power_ ,” said Sherlock again, then even more urgently, “The _power button_.” He pushed back onto John’s cock, then forward into his encircling hand, and off went the dishwasher again.

“Jesus! _The dishwasher power_?”

“Don’t stop,” panted Sherlock, “Don’t you dare stop, John Hamish Watson!”

John, who had indeed slowed almost to stopping, asked with a blend of concern and curiosity, “Does it hurt?”

“No it doesn’t bloody hurt. It’s surprisingly fantastic, now _fuck me_!”

Giggling, John kissed Sherlock’s back and began thrusting again, slowly to begin with, then faster, but with random thrusts plunging in extra hard-and-fast. Deep in Sherlock’s arse, John’s cockhead bumped against Sherlock’s prostate, and Sherlock’s hips were pushed forward, and the underside of the thick crown of Sherlock’s cock bumped softly and wetly against the new out-thrust dishwasher’s touch-activated power button. The thing apparently had a hair trigger, and would turn on, and off, and on, and off, with every serendipitous bump.

“You beautiful bastard,” John murmured at him, nudging his nose along Sherlock’s spine, biting wisps of curly hair at the back of his neck. He pressed close to wrap an arm across Sherlock’s torso to play with a nipple, and the other down between Sherlock’s legs to wank his darling while he thrust hard, curling his hips to rise up and into Sherlock’s fantastic arse.

When Sherlock’s groaning and jerking hips became uncontrollable, and the dishwasher on-off-on-off-on-offed like a strobing sound effect, John lost all control, and he fucked his splendid love hard until Sherlock cried _Joooooohhhhnnn_ in a deep, gruff voice and came all over the dishwasher ( _on_ , at that point) and John a split second after cried _Sher-sher-sherlo-o-o-ck_ and came all up Sherlock’s bounteous, luscious, bouncing arse.

Sherlock sagged against the bench, panting and congratulating himself on the perfect selection and instalment of the dishwasher for maximum utility and enjoyment. John sagged over Sherlock, arms wrapped around Sherlock’s waist, legs pressed up close to Sherlock’s thighs, and he giggled into Sherlock’s pale, freckled skin.

“I like this new dishwasher,” he huffed, body shaking with helpless, boneless delight.

In a tone both smug and debauched, Sherlock said, “Flawless brilliance,” and grinned, stupidly pleased with the entire universe, while John kissed his freckles and agreed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A sea lamprey is a kind of jawless fish with a fuckload of scary teeth.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Spin Cycle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374723) by [Octagoni](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octagoni/pseuds/Octagoni)




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